Le Introduction:

The Repertoire De La Cuisine as some of our older readers will recall was a book written by some top chefs including the Great ALBERT Escoffier,a distinguished chef who set out to make the playing field level for customers and chefs alike ,a shorthand explanation of what shit should be served with what and what tastes pretty disgusting if you serve it chaud.

Some great tips included serving deep fried parsley with everything that was hitherto ungarnishable.

The book itself was virtually unreadable,presenting such a complex work to knuckle scraping chefs was a bold and frightening move.

An example of how the book worked,if our struggling chef wanted to serve his KFC correctly, he should always ensure the drumsticks are served parallel to the yellow stripes on the box and the deep fried parsley is served in lukewarm fat to ensure a good deal of limpness to the parsley and extra fat should drip unceremoniously onto the chicken.

This is the MODERN Updated version,so prepare yourselves chefs of 2010-
NO! No NO no No...
Dont stick an apple in your mouth and climb into the salmon kettle...
.........Prepare yourself for the Modern way of Professional cookery..

Ok Chaps..Fix Bayonets...

Disclaimer: The scribblings within bear no relation to people we have worked with or are currently working with, or people we know, know us, know you, if you know us, or Dr No. No Hamsters or French people were harmed during Production. The Authors reserve the Right to flee, under any Circumstances. This is a work of pure Fiction, including the part where we actually did any.